Splash

Recently, I watched an episode of How I Met Your Mother that was all about how, when you are stepping into a new stage of your life all you can see is the good of the previous stage. These goggles make you teary-eyed as you contemplate nice memories and charish the arguments and challenges. I wouldn't say these goggles distort the truth . . . they merely shed a nice, rosy tint. Needless to say, I have been wearing my own graduation goggles these last few weeks and days prior to my departure.


Picture this: I am sitting on my bed, in my room, in the middle of the organized chaos that is my life. Around me at arm's reach, I have sprawled tour books, work-outs, plans and other reading material. My departure is approximately 32 hours away and I am getting really excited about the new world I am about to step foot in. After all, the tour books make Eastern Europe look fantastic, what with their sunny skies and smiling faces. This feeling is bittersweet though, because to get to my new home, I will need to leave my old one behind. It's really tough to say goodbye - or see you (three months) later - to family, friends, even other community members, hobbies and routine. As I look past the foot of my bed, I notice my handidown golf clubs - who will go yet another spring without being used - and my poor hockey stick. (It will be so lonely this summer . . .) My dresser, just left of those, is covered with pictures of family, pictures of friends from highschool to first year to my don year. Sitting innocently next to those is the softball that helped my team win the Ontario championships one year. I know I will be coming back to many of the close relationships and good times that these items represent, but this summer abroad is yet another reminder that I am growing up. I will be missing a traditional summer at home while I learn about the outside world . . . becauuse there's so much more to life than days at the beach, sports, and even kinesiology (yes, I said it). As great as those are, and as difficult as it is for me to admit this, they're not the be-all, end-all.


As I realize there's more out there, I also realyize that I am growing out of the little sister, little girl role.  This is to be expected as life is full of transitions, but it feels like a revelation every time. As my mom would put it, my Beyond Borders experience is putting her kidneys particularly close to ther eyes. I fear this leak is genetic.


I continue to sit on my bed and take note of the chaos that has helped to form me. In a closet in one corner of my room, I have piled my awards - from MVP medals to recognition plaques, an olympic torch, and gifts from my SJ girls. They're all reminders of what I accomplished and what I will. Books are in another section, as is equipment and sentimental reminders. Then there are pictures. Pictures are scattered throughout because people are the glue that hold me together. Together, these things are a reminder of who I was, who I a and who I will be. Some memories and relationships have grown more vibrant while others have faded, but that's life. Situations change, people grow, and the human mind/heart is incredibly adaptive. As far as the lonliness goes for this summer, there's no reason to feel alone because just by reading this, you are on my journey with me.


Let's meet this challenge head on - and crash through it like we're breaking waves! (I'll pull you at times and I'm sure you'll need to block for me.) Here goes!