Looking a little deeper

Wheh!
What an emotional whirlwind these last few days have been! On Friday, the beyond borders class of 2011 found out our placements for the term abroad. Before Friday, I was convinced that it didn't matter where I ended up - that I was equally open to all placements. When I found out where I was going, I thought maybe I actually had had my heart set on a certain placement. I'll admit, I was confused about my actual placement and itching to know why that would be a good place for me. After trying to research, I because all I could find at first was pretty negative. Great, I thought, I'm being send to an emotionally cold, harsh and demeaning environment in the heart of a dirty city and where the landscape (if I'll ever get to see it) is no different from home. Then it occurred to me: of course it's not a pleasant place . . . none of them are. I was concerned that I was placed in a city because my prof didn't believe I had the gusto to rough it but I no longer believe that. I'm pretty sure I could rough it and will have plenty of time to do that (plus I'm sure amenities will not be luxurious where I am anyway). It only took me one look at a former student's blog to come to my senses - the people I will be with need a kind heart. Who am I to even think of denying them that? How could I look one of them in the eye and tell them - or even think to myself - that I would rather be somewhere else? No, that's not me at all. I look forward to bringing a little bit of love, patience and light into their lives.


Plus, maybe I'll have hot water and a chance to ride a bike. That's not a bad thing!

My plan was to hold back telling people where I was headed for at leas 24 hours. Then, I represented the Beyond Borders program at the Vatican II centre lecture and plans changes. I think I spilled  the beans to the first person I spoke with. They asked if we found out our placements and I said "yes." With their curiosity burning a hole in my tightly-sealed lips, I continued to describe my placement, the Internat women and girls home in Ternopil Ukraine. We then discussed politics, language etc. I told whoever asked my that night where I was going and ended up learning a lot and making some good connections. During the next few hours/days, I told some close friends who inquired and my parents. Their words of support and encouragement melted away my icy reserves. It was tough to see my classmates message about their placements but I am very happy with mine. It will be a challenge and it will be meaningful. That is exactly what I wanted.