A Banquet

 

When Joanne was telling us how to think of things to write in our blogs, she suggested reading our classmate's blogs for inspiration. The following entry is a true example of that, as it was inspired by what Brittany had to say about feeling a little self-centered.

Like Brittany, I kind of feel like the word "I" (and its forms) appears way too much in my blogs - isn't this experience supposed to be about helping others, about experiencing the word outside of myself?

Yes but, just like in the lab, it's important to understand what you're working with before you know how it will react. Then, by the reaction, you can further tell what you're working with.

This is   another "I" blog but I'm posting it anyway because I think it might also help my classmates. It started out as a poem but kind of got a little messy . . . o well . . . life's messy. Enjoy ;)

A Banquet

I'm sitting at work but my mind's far from it

I feel so distracted these days

It's about time

As I read the blogs of my classmates,

I realize what I've been missing.

I've been writing to get stuff done

But not kidding anyone -

I'm fueled by inspiration

I actually feel crippled because I've been so concerned with deadlines and structure, not allowing inspiration to creep in to topple the balance - to create something magical.

Well, that's not 100% true. I have allowed inspiration, something that makes me very happy, but it hasn't exactly helped me academically . . . not yet anyway. It's about a boy.

For ages it seems, I've been that person who just seems to know how to manage their time and get stuff done. I've never really thrown a boyfriend into a mix before though and I'm beginning to realize how time can just disappear on you.

You see, I have a lot on my plate between family/friends (they're becoming one and the same), sports, work, courses, community stuff, faith and I'm stuck in a limbo - to whom/what should I devote myself?

My little habit of intensity makes this predicament worse . . . for some reason, I feel the need to go 110% all the time. It doesn’t cause me to burn out, though, because I won't let it. Rather, this intensity energizes me. I am lifted by knowing that I'm giving my all. I am going to sound proud here, but I'll say it anyway: I've always been told to do my best - and my best is pretty darn good. The trouble comes when my 110% isn't enough.

 (Insert sarcastic tone here) You mean I can't be a leader in the community, and an elite athlete, and a devoted Catholic, and an exceptional researcher, and an A student, and a supportive friend/aunt/daughter/sister and make time for the 'normal' hang-outs, and just be?

It doesn't bother me that I'm having trouble balancing these goals - that's a difficult task and one that many people face. Na, I don't feel content, nor do I want to. What is contentment anyway? To me right now, to be content is to settle. That's not what I do. Joyous and alive are much better words for how I feel and how I would like to.

I recognize the detrimental effects that pressure can have and so I take care to let things go sometimes. This is where intervals come in. Intervals are key

Let me explain:

All runners are in a continuous cycles of falling and catching themselves. It's how they get anywhere. Yes, there's more risk, but it's much more exhilarating than remaining stagnant. However, intervals are necessary and this is how it feels: you run, fall, catch yourself, keep running hard and feel the power of the sprint. Then slow down to rest, reconnect and appreciate your surroundings.  Run again.

As empowering as this run is, it is frustrating when you fall and feel the effects - when you let down a friend or when your grades actually do slip. It's frustrating when you feel full of passion but are restricted by resources and time.

So what do you do when you have too much on your plate but you don't want to throw anything away?

Take your time and share.

Religion

The dominant religion in the Ukraine is Eastern Orthodox Catholic. As a Roman Catholic, I was curious about Orthodox traditions and how they would relate to other practices of Christianity - particularly the Roman Catholic Church. The following website was useful for discerning some similarities and difference between the two:

http://www.fatheralexander.org/booklets/english/catechism_ext.htm

Some points that stuck out to me are:

Both Roman and Orthodox believe in sacred writings and tradition - that, along, with scripture, there are leaders governing the church in order to teach what could not be written and to keep the church community consistent with its teachings. This website stated that Christian Orthodox believe the Pope is the "first among equals," like an learning bishop, and the Roman Catholics believe the pope is infallible. It would be wise to speak with a church leader about this but I believe that, due to his human nature, the Pope could be wrong sometimes. I think this traditional view of the Pope is adjusting as Roman Catholics begin focusing more on the community. Maybe the "infallible" part comes in through the Pope genuinely taking much input (from people, from God, etc) to come to his decisions, or their humility to recognize their biases and weaknesses.

The Orthodox Catholics have icons whereas Roman Catholics have statues. (People pray to icons vs. use statues as reminders and decorations.)

According to the Eastern Orthodox view, there is no purgatory or Stations of the Cross.

Married men can become priests in the Orthodox tradition, not Roman Catholic. Baptism happens via full submersion in the Orthodox Church.

What I gathered is that many or the teachings are similar but the mass and other celebrations are very different. From my perspective, the Orthodox vies do not seem fundamentally different from Roman Catholic ones and so I do not think I will have too much trouble understanding the mentality of Ukrainian people. I think the thing I will have the most trouble adjusting to is the more somber, formal church gatherings (which are different from the joyous Roman Catholic and Protestant ones I have experienced). I plan to attend Christian Orthodox mass in Waterloo before I leave so that I can know a little bit of what to expect and further compare/contrast.

Mass throughout the year is very different than at Easter. Watch this video for a taste of an Orthodox Easter in Russia:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=005C6nbYxyY&feature=fvwrel

Where am I going?

This summer, I will be traveling to Ternopil, Ukraine for my Beyond Borders placement. Before I get there, I would like to know about the area: geographical location, language, culture, food, climate, politics, and other pertinent information. Through conversations and my own interest, I have come up with a few topics to address in preliminary research as I try to get to know the place that will come to be my home for the summer. I would not like be perceived as a tourist since I will be traveling for much more than the trip. Nonetheless, I am very excited about the new environment so below you will find information (from Wikipedia and various travel websites) about the location, landscape,  climate, flora and fauna, language, and, of course, food. I'll save politics and religion for another day.

Flora and Fauna:

Many animals and plants common to Canada are also found in the Ukraine, including sunflowers, oak and pine trees, deer, elk, squirrels, muskrat, lynx, brown bear, hampsters and seagulls - there's really something special about having to guard your French fries from these vultures of the sea.

(http://www.outdoorukraine.com/content/view/103/201/lang,en)

Location: Where am I going?

Ukraine is in Eastern Europe, close to Austria, Romania, Belarus and Poland. It is just west of Russia and makes up the north coast of the Black sea.

A map of Ukraine (compliments of http://www.lonelyplanet.com/maps/europe/ukraine/). Ukraine's relation to Turkey Point can be fount at:

http://maps.google.ca/maps?f=d&source=s_d&saddr=Norfolk,+Ontario&daddr=Ternopil+Oblast,+Ukraine&hl=en&geocode=%3BFa-T7wIdCvaIASll0p7WW0swRzFQQPaIhAYBAQ&mra=ls&sll=46.55886,-26.015625&sspn=107.916099,316.054687&ie=UTF8&z=3

Landscape:

Ukraine has mountains in the south and west but otherwise has a mostly flot or rolling landscape with many rivers (www.tryukraine.com/info/nature.shtml). Hoverla, the highest peak of the Carpathians, is 2061m. Famous rivers include the Dnipro, Dnister, and Dunay (Danube) (www.tryukraine.com/info/nature.shtml).

Climate:

I will be staying in the area of Ukraine that has a temporal continental climate, much like ours. (In the south, Ukraine has a more Medeterrean climate.) Since I will be traveling there in the summer, I expect a lot of rain, thunderstorms, and temperatures around 25 C.

(www.worldtravels.com/travelguide/countries/Ukraine/climate)

Language: It's as easy as A, B, V

The official language of the Ukraine is Ukranian. Russian is the second most common language and is the second language of many Ukranian speakers. Below is the Ukrainian alphabet paired with English translation. At first, it seemed comparable to English . . . then I got to C (which is actually , pronounced as V).

The image of the alphabet below was copied from http://www.ukraine.com/forums/language/11949-ukrainian-alphabet.html

Food!

This is a meat and potatoes country. In the Ukraine, it's common to have roast meat (goose, pork, beef), with root vegetables, some kind of potatoes, and various sorts specialty bread (especially around Easter time). Cabbage roles and perogies are also popular dishes, as is Borscht (a cabbage, vegetable soup). (www.tryukraine.com/info/nature.shtml)

To me, many things about the Ukraine seem familiar: the food is pretty much what I would eat at home or what family friends would make, and the environment (from weather to landscape to wildlife and plants) also seems Canadian. I think these familiarities, especially the outdoors, will be a huge comfort to me and I am excited to learn more about the culture that is specific to the Ukraine as well.

Square One

Oddly enough, this post is not about a mall, nor is it about commercialism . . .   it's about new beginnings in a different culture and in a commitment to quality communication about by Beyond Borders experience.

When it comes to the Ukraine, I know I am beginning at square one with many things from politics to people to language. As a requirement for my Beyond Borders course, I need to blog a couple times about the location of my placement as well as do some critical reflection. I have been slacking off with blogging lately (so thank you for being patient), but do intend to start fresh with a commitment to quality blogs (as much for the sake of the readers and myself as for my course), skill development and learning about the Ukraine.

Even in my own country, I am not the most politically involved person and am realizing how important it is to be in the know as my generation becomes more informed and influential. With the journey to Ukraine approaching, I have an even stronger motivation to know Canadian, Ukrainian and global politics well, since it will help ensure my safety in and my understanding of both countries. Thankfully, upon learning my Beyond Borders destination, I have been put in contact with many people and resources, including the newspaper site, http://www.kyivpost.com/. 

I am lucky that site is in English because I am currently not able to speak Ukrainian. This is another area I will be working on, beginning with the alphabet and a few prayers taught to me by a Ukrainian friend.

Incase you've been wondering why I have developed such an interest in writing, it's because I have been learning a lot of great stuff that I want to share. I am sharing it this way because this is a requirement of my Beyond Borders course. I have been slacking off with blogging lately (so thank you for being patient), but do intend to start fresh with a commitment to quality blogs (as much for the sake of the readers and myself as for my course), skill development and learning about the Ukraine. These are the topics and goals I am looking foreword to discussing:

Readings: With the intention of studying "community development" and other social issues more deeply, I will be writing a response to each reading and sharing the link to them whenever possible. I have realized that, for any vision to work, the necessary homework must be completed and so I'll be doing that and sharing it with you.

Fundraising: I'll keep you posted with fundraising efforts and what your money will be doing.

Skills: I would like to learn the Ukrainian alphabet and at least one prayer before I go. Hopefully this will give me a bit of a base to work with when I get there. I'm also going to learn to play some camp songs on the harmonica or guitar so we can have sing-along at Internat J

I wonder if ASL would be useful . . . that's next on the list.

Music: The first thing I did when I created this blot was make a playlist. Now all I have to do is figure out how to get music on here . . .Could anyone lend me a hand?

Blog Topics: Inspiration and creative thing is in full supply these days! Here are some of the topics I am to discuss:

Vatican II Centre Lecture

Waiting for the Bus

Outsiders

What to do in an emergency situation/the technical things I'm doing to prepare (Dad will be happy about this one)

Radical Realism

Character

The importance of routine in trust and community

Community "problems" and development

Selling vs. sharing yourself

Please comment if you have one.

Sincerely,

Jess V

On suffering . . .

 This blog was inspired by a note in the St. Jerome's Campus Ministry bulletin, written by Sara Mountsteven-Bertling. She writes "  . . . perhaps we need to embrace our own poverty, our own brokenness and welcome our loving God into those spaces of who we are. May each of us be challenged to rethink the truths by which we live." In embracing the truth, much will change. Also in that bulletin is a passage in response to the Beatitudes. I think it is relevant even to those who do not consider themselves religious because it speaks of joy that exists even in the roughest of times. This passage is written below. (Please also see The Book of Awesome and the songs Have a Cuppa Tea, and Good People, by Great Big Sea.)

Suffering has made you more alive

Suffering has forces you out of your complacency, out

Of your inner comfort.

You we have stuffed, satiated, full of tupor.

Your loss has caused you to have a rude awakening.

Your present neediness helps you appreciate the small

joys of life.

You may have noticed how easy it is to find pleasure

With things and people you never really noticed

before:

the colour of the leaves

a greeting from the letter carrier,

a simple handshake,

a colleague's smile,

the sound of certain footsteps,

the intensity of a child's game,

ice glistening in the sun, clouds drifting across a blue

sky,

a summer rainfall.

spontaneous prayers,

love songs with their happy,

and sad, endings.

Suffering can sharpen your senses, open your heart,

Help you see life in a new light. "Blessed are the pure

In heart, for they will see God."

 - How to Befriend your Shadow, John Monbourquette

I have found suffering to be a key concept in the Beyond Borders program, through the required readings, the discussions and our collective actions to end ease it.  First term, we were exposed to readings - particularly Pathologies of Power, by Paul Farmer, and The Ones Who Walk Away from the Omelas, by Ursula le Guin - that taught many dimensions and realities of suffering whereas this term seems to be about taking some action against it. As a class so far this term, we've been focusing more on liberation as an action to ease the suffering in our own community thought the reading Building Relationships Where People are Real, by Ken Westhues, and through our volunteer experiences.

Pathologies of Power captures the reader's attention by describing the stories of specific individuals in the developing world. One, a man, is physically beaten and left without a care whereas the other, a woman, is so desperate for security she gives herself to an authority figure who leaves her HIV positive and unable to care for their child. Through the reading, it becomes apparent that both of these very physical forms of suffering are symptoms of structural violence - a culture that encourages the mindset of superiority of the rich oppression of the vulnerable in society. It is important to note that this book was published less than ten years ago, meaning that the issues are relevant to today and, I believe, people of all societies. For example, if someone in our neightbourhood found himself or herself without an income, how could they find the money for decent food to sustain him or herself for work, a respectable interview outfit or change for the bus? Even with government help, life would be much more difficult than what I would like to consider "normal."  The pain is almost unimaginable for me, a fortunate, supported and openly loved individual. It must be more than 100x the sting of the worst muscle burn (and of an intensity more like the sting of a stab in the back). The suffering like an emptiness of heart, mind and soul dominating that of a churning stomache.

What desperate measures would you turn to when faces with dire situations? Who would you become?

It is difficult to be sure what we any of us might turn into when faced with the challenges or power of similar situations. Because physical and emotional suffering are so intertwined, neither has an easy fix and so we must remember how human every person is.

Having learned more about realities and harshness of life through class readings, discussions and worldly events, I feel I can relate to a character in the reading The Ones Who Walk Away from the Omelas. This short storey is about a town that is kept blissful thanks to a lonely being who suffers for everyone else. Once people learn about this being, they choose to continue to live with it or flee the town and what it stands for. For some, this can be taken as accepting and being thankful for the lonely sufferer who, through its suffering, allows others for be joyful. Others may react by walking away form the oppressive nature of the Omelas. I am not sure how I feel because, as mentioned in the verses above, sometimes we need suffering to recognize the joy although it is wrong to induce the suffering of others. Although I am not sure what the best answer would be - or even that there is a best answer - I would take an action of some sort because that is what I do. I feel better in action than passively accepting, which is perhaps the reason I was drawn to Beyond Borders.

This term at the working centre is sure to propel our class into action to understand suffering a little bit more and to ease is by redirecting attention. You see, there are some people there who would be considered "disadvantaged" but who have wonderful, wonderful abilities. The aim is to focus and share those abilities with the community so we call can have a part together. One of the themes of our class' first reading of the term, Building relationships where people are real, by Ken Westhues, is reciprocity. Westhues describes reciprocity as a relationship between people wherein they genuinely listen a talk so that conversation flows and ideas are shared. My connection to suffering comes here: with reciprocity, with the true communication that it entails, oppression is demolished. New genuine relationships are formed, skills are appreciated and the little joys are noticed. For proof, consider any one, true, conversation. Advantaged or disabled, young or old, we all have much to offer each other . . . including the ability to sooth a wound or fill a spirit.

Personally, I feel that having the realities of life in desperate conditions, together with feeling my own hardships and those of the loved ones in my life, has indeed sharpened my senses and opened my heart. My response to what I have learned is not to save the world - instead, it is to appreciate the treasures of simple pleasures. Maybe that will be contagious.

 

Suffering has made you more alive

Suffering has forces you out of your complacency, out

Of your inner comfort.

You we have stuffed, satiated, full of tupor.

Your loss has caused you to have a rude awakening.

Your present neediness helps you appreciate the small

joys of life.

You may have noticed how easy it is to find pleasure

With things and people you never really noticed

before:

the colour of the leaves

a greeting from the letter carrier,

a simple handshake,

a colleague's smile,

the sound of certain footsteps,

the intensity of a child's game,

ice glistening in the sun, clouds drifting across a blue

sky,

a summer rainfall.

spontaneous prayers,

love songs with their happy,

and sad, endings.

Suffering can sharpen your senses, open your heart,

Help you see life in a new light. "Blessed are the pure

In heart, for they will see God."

 - How to Befriend your Shadow, John Monbourquette

Looking a little deeper

Wheh!
What an emotional whirlwind these last few days have been! On Friday, the beyond borders class of 2011 found out our placements for the term abroad. Before Friday, I was convinced that it didn't matter where I ended up - that I was equally open to all placements. When I found out where I was going, I thought maybe I actually had had my heart set on a certain placement. I'll admit, I was confused about my actual placement and itching to know why that would be a good place for me. After trying to research, I because all I could find at first was pretty negative. Great, I thought, I'm being send to an emotionally cold, harsh and demeaning environment in the heart of a dirty city and where the landscape (if I'll ever get to see it) is no different from home. Then it occurred to me: of course it's not a pleasant place . . . none of them are. I was concerned that I was placed in a city because my prof didn't believe I had the gusto to rough it but I no longer believe that. I'm pretty sure I could rough it and will have plenty of time to do that (plus I'm sure amenities will not be luxurious where I am anyway). It only took me one look at a former student's blog to come to my senses - the people I will be with need a kind heart. Who am I to even think of denying them that? How could I look one of them in the eye and tell them - or even think to myself - that I would rather be somewhere else? No, that's not me at all. I look forward to bringing a little bit of love, patience and light into their lives.


Plus, maybe I'll have hot water and a chance to ride a bike. That's not a bad thing!

My plan was to hold back telling people where I was headed for at leas 24 hours. Then, I represented the Beyond Borders program at the Vatican II centre lecture and plans changes. I think I spilled  the beans to the first person I spoke with. They asked if we found out our placements and I said "yes." With their curiosity burning a hole in my tightly-sealed lips, I continued to describe my placement, the Internat women and girls home in Ternopil Ukraine. We then discussed politics, language etc. I told whoever asked my that night where I was going and ended up learning a lot and making some good connections. During the next few hours/days, I told some close friends who inquired and my parents. Their words of support and encouragement melted away my icy reserves. It was tough to see my classmates message about their placements but I am very happy with mine. It will be a challenge and it will be meaningful. That is exactly what I wanted.